Beginning Building Blocks...
Updated: Mar 7, 2019
We began this discussion very early on in our relationship as we had 3 months to figure out if we would break up or try long distance. Bryanna had a job lined up after graduation in May so no matter the outcome of our conversation, we knew for sure that Bryanna was going to be living in Minnesota beginning in June.
Question #1 - What two aspects were first discussed?
We first discussed How much faith do we have in this relationship? At this point, we had just declared our relationship official and then had to think about how much do we like this other person to trust them to uphold our relationship a thousand miles apart.
BH: I was a little hesitant but for me I was interested in seeing how it would go. After learning more about Marcus and his past relationship and his friendships, I was willing to take the risk as I could see that I had no reason not to trust him to be the great guy that he is!
MP: I’ve never done long distance before, so this was already challenge deciding to do it. After making the decision to give it a try, it became a challenge to shift our mindsets to understand I like this person and after 3 months, we won't see each other everyday or we can’t just call and ask them to come over. At best we can video chat or schedule time in the future for them to come visit. This caused us to want to spend as much time together as possible before we had to go long distance which made leaving even harder.
Next the aspect becomes How far are we willing to be apart? Which is a more difficult question and honesty our initial answer was a couple hours by car is far enough. After Bryanna graduated in May she moved to Minnesota and Marcus found a job in Atlanta after graduating in July. Now it was no more guessing how far we were going to be apart because now we are 1,129 miles apart. As we began our careers and liking our jobs that answer became Minnesota to Atlanta is okay because they are airport hubs so flights are cheap and we make adult money now so we can do this. With Marcus currently in Memphis, this becomes a little more difficult as there is only a small regional airport not a hub. Then the follow-up question was how much are you willing to pay for a flight? And this question is the current debate we are in because Marcus doesn't care what the price is and Bryanna does.
When Marcus started his job, we had been together for about 6 months and that’s when we realized long distance is hard but we seem to be doing okay. The 3rd aspect came next, how long do we think we can do this? Do we try long distance for a year? Does one of us quit and move to the other? Do we just give up? As you can see, we didn't go with the 3rd option but we still don’t know how long we can do this but we do know that the time is getting shorter and shorter.
As you can see these questions are as valid today as they were 3 years ago and it just shows we never stop asking how and when it’s best for us to close the gap.
The biggest aspect is How much faith do we have in this relationship? If you have faith in your relationship then you would think the distance shouldn’t matter but it does and that’s where the 2nd aspect comes in How far are we willing to be apart? If y'all are able to come to an agreed upon answer, then the 3rd aspect comes into play of How long do we think we can do this? Of course there are natural questions that come under each of these aspects but ultimately the overall question should be What is the GOAL of your relationship?
Question #2 - Can we each share a ‘real weird’ moment from our relationship?
Marcus's Real Weird Moment:
The biggest weird moment for me is when I asked Bry to be my girlfriend. It was a late night during the week and she was studying with some friends at the engineering building. Before this night, my friends had been helping and hyping me up to do this, so I’m real nervous already going into this. I meet up with her and we talk for a bit while she’s doing some work. Later I asked her to come in the hallway with me to talk. I started talking about how we were “talking heavy” and that she’s really cool and beautiful and all that good stuff. In the middle of me talking people kept walking by cutting me off, so it was taking a while. Finally I asked her if she would be my girlfriend and make this thang official. The first thing she does is straight up laugh after I ask her. Just imagine my face of confusion once she did that. So I’m standing with my back to the wall trying to figure out what just happened, what I said wrong. I let her finish and then ask, “so, is that a yes or a no?” She finally says yes and still continues to laugh. At this point, I felt real awkward and confused, so I gave her a kiss and left. Later on, I texted her asking why she laughed and her only answer was “because I could tell you were nervous and I didn't know what you were about to say.”
Bryanna's Real Weird Moment:
I don’t think anyone knows about this story but the biggest weirdest moment for me was the 1st time Marcus got sick when we were together. He calls me to tell me he isn’t feeling well so I told him to come over because I already had some medicine. He comes over and I let him lay in the bed while I did homework and of course he was telling me how he’s so congested. Personally I prefer nasal spray to do that job but he didn’t know how to use it. So I’m like well it’s the best thing I’ve ever used for congestion so I just bought some, here try it. It took 10 minutes of arguing, him very thoroughly reading the bottle and the box then another discussion for him to say he would try it. I told him how to do it but he kept chickening out of doing it himself because “I don't like things up my nose because things shouldn’t go up your nose.” My response “IDK, as long as you feel better right”, so I took the bottle and fought him for 10 minutes to spray it up his nose. After it was all said and done, about 15 minutes later he like OMG that’s nasal spray stuff works really good. Just imagine that I gave him the biggest and most nastiest side eye ever! Then we laughed and laughed about how his girlfriend of less than a month had to spray nasal spray up his nose for him.